Monday, December 19, 2005

NVC – How to Get our Needs Met

Many of us think “I shouldn’t use hurtful language” because “nice people don’t say or think these things”. Some of us may even think, “I am a bad person because I say/think these things”.

Marshall Rosenberg, the creator of Creative Communication/NVC, says, and I truly believe, that everything we do is done in order to try to get our needs met.

Everything anybody does is done in order to try to get their needs met. Or, to use Marshall’s definition of “needs”, everything we do and everything anybody does, is done in order to connect with life.

The problem is that the strategies people use to get their needs met are often not life-affirming.

To read more about NVC, visit: Nonviolent Communication. For workshops for Black parents, visit Improving Communication.

To order your copy, visit: Nonviolent Communication.

To read about EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), visit:

For lots more information about life-affirming methods to help you ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS and TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE, order Success Strategies for Black People.

If you are beating yourself up, giving yourself a hard time, or not achieving your goals, you need this book.

For ongoing support and advice, join Nurture Success - for ALL people of African heritage.

Click here to read more about Creative Communication.

See also NVC vs. Anger Management and Self-Love, Self-Respect.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Zhana,

I feel concerned when I read, in connection with getting our needs met, that: "The problem is that the strategies people use ... are often not life-affirming" and want to offer some clarity on that. (Obviously, it depends on what one means by 'life-affirming' but ...) The mission of the Center for NVC is (as I recall it) a world in which everyone is getting their needs met & resolving conflict peacefully. For me, the key word here is 'everyone'; the vision is a world in which I get my needs met and, at the same time, so do you - a culture of power-sharing rather than domination. Sometimes, I can lose sight of this goal & pursue personal needs at the expense of the needs of others. I now feel sad when I reflect that being a white, western European, male makes it difficult not to. I have ready access to a share of power & resources that is way beyond anything meets my need for fairness.
REQUEST: I would like feedback on whether this meets any needs.