I was reading this piece today in a forum I belong to. The piece was entitled To Spank Or Not to Spank. All these parents were saying, ‘I have a right to hit my kids if I want to’, ‘Who are the government or anybody to tell me not to hit my children?’, ‘My parents hit me and I’m okay’, and I’m upset about this.
It started with a story about a little girl, I believe she was about three years old, who was distressed on an airplane and her parents were made to take her off the airplane because she was making so much noise. All these people were saying her parents should have hit her.
Now, none of us knows what she was upset about. Maybe she was terrified of flying, as are many adults.
There are lots of ways of calming down a child, but hitting her is just going to make her more distressed. This seems obvious to me. So why is it that parents rush to defend their ‘right’ to spank? Surely no one has the right to hit another person.
I am also thinking, if we think it is okay to hit our children, then how can we complain about how those who have power over us treat us?
I remember Diane Abbott produced a report about Black parents in which she said, a lot of parents feel they are not able to control their children because they are not allowed to beat them. I am thinking, if the only way you can control your children is to beat them, then maybe you should not have children.
This is one of the reasons why I am running the Improving Relationships workshop on 10th and 24th February. If you would like more information, click here.
A lot of the problems we face as adults are also experienced by children. You can read about surrogate tapping (i.e. Emotional Freedom Technique) as it was used on an airplane, click here.
To read about how surrogate tapping was used to calm a frightened child, click here.
To read more about EFT, click here.
Keywords: Black parenting, African Caribbean, parents, families, relationships, UK