Thursday, December 07, 2006

Healing Our Relationships

Click here to read part 2.

Click here to read part 3.

I watched the DVD of ‘Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome’ on Tuesday night, at a meeting of the PanAfrican Society at South Bank University. Click here to read more about Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome.

Dr. Joy DeGruy Leary is a brilliant speaker. She spoke about how Black people’s relationships have been damaged by the legacy of enslavement.

This is familiar territory, especially for those of us who have read the Willie Lynch letter and How to Make a Slave. Dr. Leary described how Black women don’t believe we can rely on our men to protect us, and how Black men don’t believe it is safe to show us their vulnerable side.

This was aptly demonstrated in the Tsunami programme on the BBC on Tuesday night. The wife was saying, ‘Why didn’t you protect me? Why didn’t you protect

our child?’ And the husband did not safe to express his grief, his vulnerability and his fear. They each blamed the other.

Because of the damage that was done to us during enslavement and colonisation, we often find we are afraid to trust those we should be closest to. My work is about healing. We can heal these toxic patterns in our relationships, and in the ways we communicate with each other.

My workshop, Improving Relationships/Improving Communication, is a practical workshop to help us with the healing process. Click here for more info.

Keywords: African American, African Caribbean, History, Relationships, Healing, Dr. Joy Leary

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I want to thank you for sharing your blogs and websites. When I read your post on Healing Relationships, I couldn't believe the timing of it. On Dec. 7, my nephew was born and there was a great deal of drama concerning his father who was too scared to stick around the hospital although previously, he had kept telling my niece, his wife, that she needed to know her place as a woman. To remind her, he had even hit her in her 9th month of pregnancy.

The family, mostly women, were very upset. Like always, we filled the void that men have left behind, but I kept thinking that there is potential in this young man. If we start working on breaking the cycle of abuse now, then maybe we would be able to save this new life from passing it on to his offspring.

I had never heard of Dr. Leary or her book before you mentioned it. I looked it up and sent the ISBN to my local librarian who agreed to order it. I can't wait to read it. Thanks.

I've done a lot of Web surfing and you are the only black person I've found that actually focuses on healing black people and the wounds of slavery. Others talk around it, but they don't seem to get at the heart of the matter, which is healing your own wounds first. Most people seem to want to heal everyone else.

I owe you a huge debt for your Web page on EFT. I've been practicing it for several months now and it's awesome. Mostly, I use it to calm down and to heal things I didn't even know were wrong with me. I'm able to stay in a relative state of peace. I used to be tense all of the time so much so that feeling relaxed was foreign and strange to me. Now, I can feel the tension and the need to get rid of it. This means I don't ever have to hold on to tension. I've developed techniques to get rid of it. Developing these techniques began with my use of EFT.

Thanks again.