Black Men Stepping Up to Fatherhood

Saw this great page today on Black fatherhood: First Date: Meeting My Daughter and Becoming a Father Figure. Thanks very much to Jessica Ann Mitchell of National Black Pages. Videos of Black men talking about taking on the responsibility of fatherhood.

Also, check out: Black Fatherhood: Reconnecting with Our Legacy. With all the media images of crime, violence, imprisonment and the disintegration of our families, it's important to remember that there are plenty of Black fathers doing what they need to do. A lot of the time, we just don't get to see images of them. So it's up to us.

See also: Positive Images of Black Families.

Positive Images of Black Families (2)

In yesterday's post, "Where Are the Positive Images of Black Families?", I talked about the film "Happily Ever After", which features couples talking about their experience of marriage.

The couples in the film make the point that many young Black people today have not experienced positive Black marriage and family life, and thus do not even believe it is possible for them to have happy marriages.

They see the Obamas as a positive role model, and state that if you can see that something is possible, you can aspire to it.

The film was screened by Black History Studies, whom we interviewed on Saturday on What U Need to Know. Click here to listen.

One sista in the audience pointed out that the benefits system in the UK works against married couples. If you need to claim benefits, you will receive more as a single person than as a married couple on benefits.

We have a similar legacy in the United States. In the '60s, I recall that if there was a man in the home, the family could not claim welfare benefits. So the man of the house would hide under the bed or in the closet when the welfare lady came round to check and see if there was a man present.

Many Black men were not in a position to be able earn enough to support their families. Yet they still remained in the household as a positive presence, providing moral and emotional support to their partners and being role models for their children.

One of the men in "Happily Ever After" decribes how he and his ex-partner continued to support and provide for each other and for their children after their marriage had ended. He said he had never lived more than a mile away from his chidren.

Even during slavery, parents travelled long distances under cover of night, just to have a few moments to spend with their children.

Nowadays, many times the woman does not even know where her ex-partner is living. The children don't know where their father is.

The State has systematically broken down Black families. In the UK, this problem is by no means limited to the Black community.

But to see the lengths to which white racist oppressors will go to split up Black families, see The End of the Dialogue.

Yesterday, I emphasised the need to have positive images in Black literature, film, and every art form.

The couples in "Happily Ever After" talked about the Huxtables, the family in the Cosby Show. The film states that before the Obamas, the only positive image of Black families widely available was fictional.

It was not the only positive image, but it was certainly one of the most widely available.

If children do not see positive images of Black marriages and families, they may grow up believing that it's not possible to have one.

Images are very powerful. For more about the power of visualization, see You Are Magnificent. See also Success Strategies for Black People.

I stated yesterday that this is one reason why it is vital for us to learn about Black history. It is vital for us to know about Black achievers, past and present, and about those who have challenged injustice and oppression.

If you have not seen "Happily Ever After", I urge you to see it.

Where Are the Positive Images of Black Families?

When I was a child growing up in the '60s, I recall Valentine's Day being about more than romantic love. It was not just for couples. Valentine's Day celebrated love in all its forms, including the love of parents for their children, the love of family, and the love which is found in friendships.

As Joan E. Gosier, author of Cotton Pickin' Paycheck, writes in More Black Success Volume 5, where are the positive images of Black families?

Where are the images of normal, healthy Black families with two parents?

This is one of the questions addressed in the film Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, which was screened by Black History Studies last night in London.

The film contains a series of interviews with couples talking about their experiences of marriage, in which they share the joys as well as the challenges of marriage.

See also: What Is Black Love?

The couples talk about the importance of having the Obamas as role models of a happy, loving and stable couple and family.

One person refers to a 12-year-old boy who has been quoted as saying "Marriage is for white people".

The film makes the point that, if we have never seen something, we are unlikely to aspire to it.

Visualization is so important for our development. If you can see it, you can be it. I talk about this in my book Success Strategies for Black People.

This is why we need to have positive images in Black literature, film, and every art form.

This is also one reason why it is vital for us to learn about Black history. It is vital for us to know about Black achievers, past and present, and about those who have challenged injustice and oppression.

If you have not seen Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, I urge you to see it.