Why I Am Committed to Nonviolence

MLK Faith Is Taking the First Step

Click here for more blog posts from the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2016. 

I have blogged a lot about the things that affect me – and I am sure they affect you, too. Like the killings of Black people by the police and other authorities.  And The Calais Jungle.  And the history of the Freedom Riders.  And I have blogged about the fact that Black women cancer patients are often denied the care they need. 

For some of my recent blog posts, see the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2016. 

As I have asked bloggers to submit blogs that are personal, I want to share with you some of my personal thoughts, feelings and experiences.

As I said in Violence Begins at Home, this work begins with the self. We all want other people to change, but in order to achieve that, we first need to change ourselves.

I use many different personal development methods in my work and in my life. The one method that has affected me the most is Nonviolent Communication (NVC). For more about NVC, see 8 Books about NVC and my interviews with NVC authors.

My biggest problem has probably always been my low self-esteem, which I could also characterize as self-hatred. I taught courses in Building Self-Esteem and Confidence for many years.

The way we talk about ourselves, to ourselves, is a central feature in our self-esteem. We use language that undermines our confidence. We use jackal language (blaming, judging labelling) to ourselves, about ourselves. We learn lessons such as feeling “not good enough” very early in life, and in consequence, we put ourselves down. Often, we learn to put ourselves down before someone else has the chance to do it. I have seen this tendency in myself and in many of my students. I am usually unaware of it – it's a tendency that is unconscious.

When I was doing a lot of NVC, I found that my self-talk changed. The way I talked to myself became more positive. I didn't plan for this or expect it, it just happened.

I have agoraphobia, one symptom of which is that I find it difficullt to cross the street. I have to wait until I feel comfortable, until there is not too much traffic, and so forth. I could be giving myself positive, encouraging messages in this context.

But one day, as I was waiting for the lights to change, I heard a voice in my head saying you're so STUPID!!! Over and over again. I was shocked, but I'm sure these are the types of messages I am giving myself all the time. 

This is just an example of the kind of self-talk that undermines our self-esteem and conidence. When we are harsh with ourselves, we tend to be harsh towards others as well. As Marshall Rosenberg explained in Nonviolent Communication, we can use jackal language towards ourselves or towards others.

When we have jackal thoughts towards ourselves, we tend to project these kinds of thoughts and attitudes towards others. This can, and often does, lead to conflict.

When I became kinder in my self-talk, others saw and commented on how different I was in my interactions with others. I wish I had known about NVC when I was teaching.

I am very keen that more and more of us learn NVC. This will transform our our lives, our worplaces and our communities and will, eventually, transform the world. Transformation begins at home.

Click here for more blogs from the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2016.

 

87-Year-Old Venus Green Locks Police Officer in Her Basement ...

This is the kind of news story I like to see.  87-Year-Old Venus Green Locks Police Officer in Her Basement ... and wins a $95,000 settement! 

How's that for some news you can use?

Seems the police officer forced his way into her home on a pretence and sarted pushig her around.  Meanwhile, her grandson, Tallie, had been shot in a convenience store and the police officer was preventing the medics from helping him.

Rather than stand by and allow Tallie to become another statistic, Venus took matters into her own hands and locked the officer in the basement!

This story just keeps getting better.  Green then sued the City of Baltimore and won - they paid her $95,000 compensation . Go Venus!

We MUST put an end to this police violence and intimidation.  Support the Week of Nonviolence and the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2016.

Click here to read the article on Urban Intellectuals.  .

Please share this with your networks and please leave your comments below.  Thanks.  

8 Ways To Get POSITIVE Results

Derrick Hayes

 By Encouragement Speaker Derrick Hayes

This blog post is part of the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2015.  

With all the negativity that is surrounding us each day, we need more positive outlets to plug into. Through the word POSITIVE I give you 8 Ways To Get POSITIVE Results.

(P) is for Pause. When you see something that is not right or in your best interests, stop before you proceed. Take a break and collect your thoughts so you can take the right actions. Always remember to pause for the cause.

(O) is for Own. When you own your own business. As an entrepreneur, it gives you more of an incentive to go to work. As an employee, you get taxed without having the benefits of being a sole proprietor where you can receive takes breaks .As a homeowner,  you get takes breaks that you don’t get as a renter.

(S) is for Stay. One way to stay positive is to stay who you are. If you are already positive, remember to stay humble. Stay alert so that you will stay out of trouble.

(I) is for Include. When you plan an activity, invite other positive people to be a part of your event. The group can feed off each other. When one is in doubt another can help them out.

(T) is for Think. Keep grinning and winning by thinking like a winner and not a beginner. When situations come up again, think about how you made it through the last time.

(I) is for Improve. Analyze your life before others do. Take a class or even ask someone how you can get better. Seeing growth is a great way to look forward to a bright future.

(V) is for View. When others look for the worst in others, look for the best things that they bring to the table. See how you can turn negative into positive instead of keeping negative situations negative.

(E) is for Expect. Expect things to be positive in your life. When you hope for the best, things work out better for you. Keep expecting and protecting your dream to come true.

Each day, strive to be POSITIVE where you Pause, Own, Stay, Include, Think, Improve, View and Expect great results.

For more about Derrick, see:  DerrickHayes.com. 

President Obama on the Ferguson Situation

"Hands Up Don't Shoot" Protest at Howard University

President Obama's statement last night on the situation in Ferguson was largely a recap - albeit with more brevity - of what the Attorney General Eric Holder had already said in his press conference earlier.

The local FBI in Ferguson are conducting an independent investigation into the fatal shooting of Michael Brown.  The Justice Department are also conducting an investigation, in which they are co-operating with the FBI.

Over 200 witness statements have already been taken, and more are continuing to be taken.  (Does this mean Michael Brown was shot in front of more than 200 witnesses?  Maybe this is not what they mean by "witness statements".)  

Crucially, the President mentioned that "too many Black men are being left behind" and spoke about the importance of addressing and including cities and communities that have been left behind.  

The President also explained that he would not, himself, be going to Ferguson, because the investigations have to be seen to be independent.  However, the Attorney General will visit Ferguson tomorrow.   

Meanwhile, violence, shooting and rioting continue in Ferguson and in St. Louis, Mo.  The National Guard has been called out.  Now they are using teargas.  It's as if everyone is going crazy.

Inflict enough racist violence on people and they WILL go crazy.

The thing is, we always react to these things AFTER THE FACT.  These conditions have existed for many years. 

There have been peaceful protests in NYC, LA and San Francisco.  Check out my blog: "Hands Up Don't Shoot Protest in NYC". 

There was a protest in London as well, in front of the U.S Embassy, but, like many people, I did not find out about it until after the fact.

One result of people and communities being left behind is that our people are being killed.  Black people are being killed by the police and nobody is being held accountable.  When are they going to stop killing our young people?

Check it out:  Deaths in Police Custody.

Check out this very interesting article by Paul B. Raushenbush at the Huffington Post:  What White People Can Do about the Killing of Black Men in America.  But they're not just men and it's not just in America. 

Click here for the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence.  We MUST end the violence.