The Courage of Antoinette Tuff

Antoinette Tuff took on a would-be school shooter who was carrying 500 rounds.  She used her voice, and her words, to talk him down.  

Knowing what he really wanted and needed was love, she gave him love, respect and acknowledgement.  And she shared her own story with him.  

The way Nonviolent Communication (NVC) works is that we connect with feelings and needs - our own and other people's - and this connects us with life force energy.  This is why Marshall Rosenberg calls NVC a language of life.  

Using NVC in a potentially violent situation requires a great deal of courage.  Do you have the  kind of courage Antoinette Tuff displayed?  I'm not sure I do.  But I would like to develop it.  And we can all develop NVC skills.  

Together, we can change the world.  

What are your thoughts?  

Go here for The Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2026.  

Please submit your blog post, and please share this with your networks.  

Go here for more information about NVC.  

Go here for my review of the book Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.   

 

 

 

 

 

White Husband Kills His Black Wife

This is one of those horrible stories I am seeing more and more of these days.  I am adding this to my collection entitled, "Do Black Lives Really Matter?". 

A white man has been sentenced to 72 years for killing Jenean Chapman, his Black wife.  Go here to read more.  

 I hate these stories.  I hate reading them and I hate blogging about them.  But I do it for a reason - the violence has to stop.  And we have the powe to make it stop.  

Violence is preventable.  This is why I host the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence every year.  We can PREVENT violence.  We can PREVENT domestic violence.  And you can help.   

Go here for more about Nonviolent Communication (NVC).  

Go here  for my review of the book Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.  

Go here for more from the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2025.  

To be clear, the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence is open to EVERYONE who is committed to nonviolence and peace.  

You can make a difference.  We can all make a difference.  

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Please leave your comments below.  

 

 

A Little about NVC and Me

As you will know if you read and listen to my blog posts, I am the founder of the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence.  We hold the Blogging Carnival every year as part of the Week of Nonviolence with Black Women for Positive Change.  

I am passionate about Nonviolent Communication (NVC).  I have published many blog posts about NVC and interviewed a number of NVC practitioners.  You can read some of my most recent blog posts here. 

I first came across NVC in or around 2003, when I read Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.  This book really changed my life and changed me as a person.  I subsequently attended several NVC trainings, and now I lead workshops in the community. 

We are experiencing an upsurge of murder and other violence in the UK, and this is touching my neighbourhood in South London, as well as many other places.  Both gun crime and knife crime are on the increase, and this particularly affects our own Black youth.  Obviously, I am very upset about this, and I am sure you are, too. 

NVC is a practical solution.  We can end violence though using NVC skills.  We keep telling each other the situation is terrible, it's awful.  In every conversation I have with people around my local area, and across London, we always say it's terrible, it's horrible.  But that's not enough.  We need to end the violence.  We need to have the skills to do this.  

NVC has had a powerful effect on me as a person.  I blogged about this in Why I Am Committed to Nonviolence, and I shall blog more about this.  But for now, I am blogging about the violence all around us, the bullying in our schools, the violent behaviour of our Black youth.  NVC offers a solution.  It's often about prevention.  And EMPATHY is at the heart of NVC.  Ending violence starts with ourselves - with us, with you and me.  It starts with the inner work we need to do.  

The violence affecting our young people has to stop.  This has to stop.  If you agree, comment "Yes!" below.  And please share this with your networks.  Thanks.  

See also:  Why I Am Committed to Nonviolence.  

INTERnational Week for Nonviolence

I am privileged to be a member of the Summit Council of the INTERnational Week for Nonviolence, which will be held 16th-23rd August 2014.

If you are organising an event during that week, please post the details in the comments section below.

I have also posted some NVC events - not just events for that week – here.

One of my guests on my recent show about Black parents and nonviolence was saying, "You CAN'T teach young people nonviolence because they have to fight".

I was reminded of the first time I met Marshall Rosenberg, author of Nonviolent Communication.  I asked him about his work with Black gang leaders. 

 

I talk about this in the audio below.   

I am also inspired by the example of Malcolm X. He was alienated and disaffected, and he became involved in petty crime and ended up in prison. But the right support and encouragement, and given the right inspiration, he became a leader.

Listen below for more.

I am really passionate about this work. NVC is saving people's lives all over the world, and it could save your life. It could save your child's life.

The INTERnational Week for Nonviolence is not exclusively for people of African heritage. It's for everyone.

Help me celebrate the Week for Nonviolence this coming August.

I have written about Nonviolent Communication in Success Strategies for Black People and

my new ebook, Affirmations for Parents. 

Follow me @Zhana21 and @ZhanaHeals.  

Current Books Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with Zhana21 on BlogTalkRadio

 

How Violence Becomes Attractive

I recently viewed this video of Marshall Rosenberg talking about making requests.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWe71d-cjLY

I find requests to be the hardest part of Nonviolent Commuication (NVC), and I really appreciate Marshall's clarity.

NVC teaches us that we can transform situations – including violent situations – by using language. The way we communicate can be transformative.

Of course, violence occurs in all communities. But Black people, people of African heritage,  have systematically been abused and subjected to extreme violence for centures, and this has had an effect on us which must be healed.

Marshall makes the point that we often make requests in terms of what we don't want, rather than what we want. He gives the example of trying to stop children from breaking windows. “How can we stop children from breaking windows? Kill them. Research has shown that dead children break no windows”.

Of course this is an extreme example, but there are loads of real-life examples to rival this. Like this one involving a pastor or this one involving the son of a hip-hop mogul.  When you read these, think about  how, when we think in terms of what we don't want, violence becomes attractive.  

When I read blogs and articles like these, my heart sinks. There are always real-life stories about the level of violence in Black communities in the States, in Britain and in many different places in the world. However, we can change this.  

When we think in terms of how to stop someone from doing something, violence becomes attractive.  

Why do we want someone to do what we want - because of fear of violence, intimidation or punishment?  Or because they want to, to meet their own needs as well as ours?  What are our motives?   

To read more about NVC, see: Improving Communication/ImprovingRelationships,  See also: Getting Past the Hate, to Have More Love.