Riots in the UK - The Current Crisis

Rioting at a Hotel in Rotherham

We have been through one crisis after another over the past few years.  

Currently, riots are sweeping the UK.  They are linked with racism, Islamophobia and anti-immigrant sentiment  promoted and spready by far-right groups. Hotels that house refugees and asylum seekers are being attacked and set on fire.  

In some cases, people from anti-racist groups are confronting the rioters. 

I recently posted about global conflict.  However, the violence has come home. This is very frightening for those of us living in the UK.

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) has a vital part to play, although I personally think its main impact is more about prevention.  But it has been used effectively in situations of extreme violence.  

Go here for more about NVC.  

And go here for my FREE worksheet for parents.  Parents have a vital role to play in preventing and ending the violence. 

NVC is based on empathy, which is about listening.  

We need to understand the causes of the violence.  People are very angry and have been for years now.  Certain groups and certin politicians are whipping up the anger.  

Why are these people so angry?  Because they think they have not been listened to.  They think they have been ignored by the powers that be, and at last, the violence is exploding.  

We must have meaningful dialogue if we are going to put an end to the violence.  

Go here for The Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2024.  

 

 

 

 

Global Conflict - What Can We Do to Help?

Sudanese Refugees in Chad

It breaks my heart to read of conflicts occurring in African countries such as Burkina Faso, DRC, Nigeria and Sudan, and others, and those among people of African heritage, including in Yemen and Haiti.  Plus the conflicts we hear about every day, such as those in Gaza and Uraine.  Vast numbers of people are being displaced as a result. 

We're in a New Era of Conflict and Crisis - this article focuses on the exploding need for aid amidst dwindling funding resources.  Last year, more than 360 million people worldwide needed humanitarian assistance.

Although aid has a significant role to play, my focus is on preventing and resolving conflicts.  

We need to find solutions, and Nonviolent Communication (NVC) can be part of the solution.  

NVC is based on empathy.  

Please help me to spread the word, helping more people to learn and apply NVC skills to prevent and resolve global conflicts.  Please submit a blog post to the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2024.  

Conflict often begins in the home, and children who experience violence in the home are more likely to get involved with conflict outside the home.  Go here to download my NVC Worksheet for Parents.  

What are your thoughts about preventing and resolving global conflicts?  Please comment below and please share this with your networks.  Thanks.  

Spare the Rod, Love the Child

Naimah Latif

In today's blog post, Naimah Latif, Executive Producer of The Female Solution worldwide radio and TV network and the ON AIR worldwide radio and TV network, talks about her response to violence towards children.  I found this post very moving.  Go here to watch it.   

This is a very controversial subject.  How do you feel about violence against children? Do you "spare the rod"?  Or do you think this will "spoil the child"?  Please leave your comments below and please share this with your networks.  Thanks.  

Go here for more about how to parent using Nonviolent Communication (NVC) with Affirmations for Parents.  

 

 

Go here for readings from the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence.  

Go here for NVC resources.  

Go here for more from the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2021. 

 

 

This Upsets a Lot of People

I have had this argument with a lot of people, online and offline, over the years.

I met this guy at the park the other day. He is an active church member and works with young people.

He was insisting that we “have to” beat our children. In Africa, we beat our children – and "it works".

I confess I did not use my NVC skills during this encounter. I did not try to connect with his feelings and needs. I get very reactive when I see parents behaving in ways I don't like, and I particularly react, when people tell me we “have to” beat our children.

People also think it is part of our culture, but it's not. This is behavour that was learned and reinforced during slavery. Violent parenting, ruling by fear and intimidation, is NOT part of our culture. It is part of white culture. White people don't want us to know this. They don't want us to know and understand that we can have relationships, including parent/child relationships, based on trust, mutual understandin,g care and respecct.

“We have to” is a form of jackal speech, which Marshall Rosenberg terms “the language of no choice”. He points out that the Nazis used this kind of language to justify their actions.

For more about jackal speech, see “Transform Your Life with Nonviolent Communication”.

Also, check out my book, Success Strategies for Black People. 

Nonviolent Communication also works.   

Just because I have knowledge about NVC and I understand how it works, doesn't mean I always use it. I fall down. I make mistakes. It's called learning.

Jackals are very useful, as they point us to our unmet needs. I was experiencing a lot of unmet needs in this argument. Needs for kindness, care, respect and, most importantly, listening. A lot of parents tell me they are having problems with their children. “She's angry, she's slamming doors”, etc. But when I ask what unmet needs the child is experiencing, they tell me, “she doesn't have any”.

If your child is angry or upset, he or she is experiencing unmet needs. And you need to LISTEN to the child to understand what unmet needs he or she is experiencing.

We need to LISTEN to children, not beat them.

Please leave your comments below, and please share this with your networks.

Children and Knife Crime

Knives Taken from Schoolchildren

Let's talk about solutions.  

In the news today, we learn about the increase in children bringing weapons into school, particularly knives.  

This is in the news now, but it is something I have been very concerned about for some time.  I am particularly concerned about violence within Black communities, but this is something that affects ALL communities.  Listen below for more.  



Click here for my interview with Ike Lasater.  

Click here for more blogs from the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence.  

Click here for blogs about how violence affects Black communities. 

Click here for Success Strategies for Black People.  

How to Transform Your Relationships

It's such a shame to hear that Chris Rock has filed for divorce.  It seems to have been have been a long time coming. 

If you have read Success Strategies or my articles, blogs and ebooks, you know I am passionate about Nonviolent Communication.  We can transform our relationships and our communication using NVC.

Whether you are single, in a couple, a parent, an employee, an employer, or a business owner, you can use NVC to make your life more wonderful.  

I am delighted and privileged to be leading a session of the NVC Meetup group in London on Monday the 12th of January.  Click here for details.  I hope you can join us. 

For more about how to use NVC to transform your relationships, click here for my ebook What They Don't Want Us to Know.  Click here for Affirmations for Parents.

Why I Am Committed to Nonviolence

Listen below for my short audio on why I am committed to nonviolence.  

We must protect ourselves and our children.  We must end the violence.   

I wrote about Nonviolent Communication, NVC, in Success Strategies for Black People and in my new ebook, Affirmations for Parents.  

Click here for more information about the International Week for Nonviolence, 16th-23rd August 2014.  

Click here for details of the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence and how you can submit your blog.  

We can end the violence, we can save lives.  It's up to you, it's up to me.  It's up to us. 

More Books Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with Zhana21 on BlogTalkRadio

INTERnational Week for Nonviolence

I am privileged to be a member of the Summit Council of the INTERnational Week for Nonviolence, which will be held 16th-23rd August 2014.

If you are organising an event during that week, please post the details in the comments section below.

I have also posted some NVC events - not just events for that week – here.

One of my guests on my recent show about Black parents and nonviolence was saying, "You CAN'T teach young people nonviolence because they have to fight".

I was reminded of the first time I met Marshall Rosenberg, author of Nonviolent Communication.  I asked him about his work with Black gang leaders. 

 

I talk about this in the audio below.   

I am also inspired by the example of Malcolm X. He was alienated and disaffected, and he became involved in petty crime and ended up in prison. But the right support and encouragement, and given the right inspiration, he became a leader.

Listen below for more.

I am really passionate about this work. NVC is saving people's lives all over the world, and it could save your life. It could save your child's life.

The INTERnational Week for Nonviolence is not exclusively for people of African heritage. It's for everyone.

Help me celebrate the Week for Nonviolence this coming August.

I have written about Nonviolent Communication in Success Strategies for Black People and

my new ebook, Affirmations for Parents. 

Follow me @Zhana21 and @ZhanaHeals.  

Current Books Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with Zhana21 on BlogTalkRadio

 

Teen Murdered His Parents

I am sure you are shocked by this story.  I don't know what happened in this family, but it seems clear that there was a serious breakdown.  16-year-old Vincent Parket murdered his parents. 

Teen Murdered Parents for Taking Away His iPod

When we see an appalling story like this, we need to think about what we can learn from this.  If we don't listen to our children, the results can be tragic.  They are rarely this tragic.  But we MUST help young people - and parents - to find nonviolent solutions. 

I talk about nonviolent solutions in my new ebook, Affirmations for Parents.  

See also:  Which Children Are Most Likely to Bring Weapons to School?