Six-Year-Old Girl Arrested; 14-Year-Old Honestie Hodges Dies

 

As I said in my previous post, why was this child arrested?  What could she possibly have done to warrant her being taken out of her classroom and led away in handcuffs?  

Did she kill somebody?  

Links to resources are below.   My work is about solutions, so please do check out the resources below.  

I have now watched the full video - apparently, the child threw a temper tantrum.  A TEMPER TANTRUM, Y'ALL!!!  The teacher thought the appropriate thing to do in this situation was to call the cops.  The cops came and arrested this six-year-old girl, and as far as I can tell, did not even read her her rights or tell her the charges against her.

Another question:  Why did they arrest her before her grandmother arrived?  There are a lot of child protection issues and safeguarding issues here.  Could this really not have waited until her grandmother was able to get there, to talk to the child, to ride with her in the police car, to be there with her when she was arrested?

And another:  what kind of psychological scarring has she been left with?  She is going to make some therapist very wealthy one day.  

I have now learned about another handcuffing incident.  Honestie Hodges, 11 years of age  when she was arrested and handcuffed AT GUNPOINT, has now sadly died of covid-19 at the age of 14.   George Stinney was the same age when he was executed.  

Apparently, the police mistook Honestie for a middle-aged white woman who was a suspect in a stabbing.  

Again, I have questions about the type of psychological damage she will have suffered.  We may never know the answers in Honestie's case.  

The United States incarcerates more children than any other country.  We have a long history of arresting and incarcerating children, including George Stinney, who was executed at the age of 14. 

Also, check out this article about the incarceration of children in the U.S.  The rate of arrest and incarceration of Black children in the U.S. is twice the rate for white children. 

I'm so upset about these incidents, both recent and historic, and I'm sure you are, too.  To see young lives cut short by the criminal injustice system is just heartbreaking. 

Go here for my blog post, How to Escape from the Prison System.

We have so much power.  It's time we started to use it for our benefit.

Go here for How to Get Clear, Precise Answers.  Our minds are incredibly powerful, and we MUST use them to protect our children and protect our communities.

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) can help to PREVENT these kinds of incidents from happening.  Go here for some NVC resources and go here for books about NVC.

As I said above, my work is about solutions.   Please share this with your networks and please comment below.

Six-Year-Old Girl Arrested

This six-year-old was arrested, taken out of her classroom and led away in handcuffs.

I have a lot to say about this.

First of all, I have blogged more about outrages against our Black children, and other children, here.

And here.

And here.  

My work is about solutions.  See below for solutions.  But right now, I need to vent.  I am just so upset.

Have you heard about the Black children who have committed suicide because of bullying?  And the mom who was banned from the school her daughter attends, because she she confronted her daughter's bullies?

And now this story.

One of the questions in my mind is:  What was going through this police officer's mind?  What was he thinking about when he went into the classroom, put handcuffs on this little girl, led her out of the building and put her in a police car?  What on earth was he thinking about?

He is a grown-ass man, arresting a six-year-old.  What is wrong with him? 

Also, who ordered a six-year-old to be arrested?  On what grounds?

Do these people even realise that they are part of a racist narrative?  Because this is the kind of thing that has been going on since slavery.  And in South Africa, remember in Soweto, they SHOT loads of children who were protesting against apartheid.

So what are these people thinking?

I am going to be blogging more about this soon.  But in the meantime, if you want some information about solutions, including Nonviolent Communication (NVC) which can  PREVENT this kind of thing from happening, go here for some NVC resources.

Please share this and please comment below. 

Six-Year-Old's Encounter with Gun Violence

Merkel Taylor, recovering from head wounds

If you read or follow my blogs, you know that I am committed to nonviolence and Nonviolent Communication (NVC).

Go here for the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2018.

Markel Taylor, 6, was being driven to football practice by Marlow Parker when he was attacked.

This little boy was shot in the head, which has led to serious long-term issues for him and his brother. They are still living with the aftermath of this horrific incident and the trauma it caused.

Go here to read more.

This case is currently subject to legal proceedings, so not much information is available at this time.  But this is an example of what can happen when we resort to using violence. 

Black Girl, 11, Tasered by Police

Girl of 11 Tasered by Police

A girl of 11 was tasered by an off-duty police officer in Cincinnati, OH.  

Go here to read more.  

I've said it before and I'll say it again - we need to change this situation.  And we can.  So tired of reading and hearing about these stories.  Tired of having my heart broken.  I am sure you are, too.  

Here's another one:  

Florida Cop Handcuffs 11-Year-Old Boy.   

How is this any different to what they were doing to us in slavery?  

We MUST change this situation.  And we can!  

And let's remember that this is an INTERNATIONAL problem.  Go here to read my blog about the Death of Kevin Clarke. 

We need to work together to sort out this problem.  And we can!  

My work focuses on solutions,  Let's talk about solutions.  Go here for 8 Books about Nonviolent Communication (NVC).  

Plus go here for more NVC resources.    

Please leave your comments below, and please share this with your networks.  Thanks.  

Listening to Our Black Children

Are We Listening to Our Black Children?

I posted this blog some time ago and it's still relevant:  Are We Listening to Our Children?  Plus click here for part 2. 

Those posts are for everyone, regardless of racial or cultural background (although the examples in part 2 came from the Black community). 

But I continue to be very concerned about parenting within the Black community - how we parent our children.  It's not just about physical violence.  About physical abuse, i.e. beating children, and the fact that so many of our Black parents tell me we "have to" beat our children.  No, we don't "have to" be violent to children.  We need to find better ways to communicate. We need to upgrade our skills. 

As I said, it's not just about physical violence.  I was on the bus a few weeks ago and I saw this sista with a beautiful, beautiful little girl on her back.  The child had such a beautiful smile.  She was trying to get her mother's attention and her mother was telling her to "shush" so she could talk on the phone.

This really hurt me.  And I see similar things all the time in my neighbourhood, in my community.  WHY would you ignore your child to talk on the phone?  

And I have seen a lot worse than this, and I experienced far worse than this when I was a young person.  So many of us are so damaged.  We come from damaged families.  We have been damaging each other in our families for many generations, as a direct result of racism.  As part of the legacy of slavery.  We carry wounds that go very deep. 

As I have said on this blog many times, we have learned toxic ways of communicating, toxic ways of behaving.  And we will keep infllicting these toxic behaviour patterns on one generation after another until we heal them.  This is probaby the main reason why I wrote Success Strategies for Black People.  We CAN heal ourselves and each other.  And the healing process begins with healing oneself.

My own healing journey has been a long and difficult one, and it is ongoing.  I have learned a lot through my healing process and my aim is to share with you what is of value.  See also: Violence Begins at Home. 

White Mother: Hands Off My Black Child's Hair

When the late Dh. Vijayatara did her research some years ago on the experience of Black people in predominantly white Buddhist Sanghas (spiritual communities), one of the issues that kept coming up was the need white people express to touch our hair.  Many white people seem to have an unhealthy fascination with our hair, and they also seem to feel they have every right to touch it – often without our permission.

(My experience was somewhat different from this - I often had Black people wanting to touch my hair.  But that's a whole other story.) 

Today, I really wanted to share this very positive post by a white mother asking other white  people not to touch her Black daughter's hair, and explaining why it's disrespectful to do so. As she says, it can affect the child's self-esteem.  

I understand the relationship between white mothers and their Black children, and/or the children's hair, can be difficult. I find it refreshing and inspiring to read this white parent's words about the need to respect her child's personal space. 

White parents and other white people are more likely to pay attention to this message coming from one of their own.  I only wish they would listen when we say similar things.  

Click here to read more about how to enjoy beautiful, healthy hair and skin.    

I welcome your comments below.

Childless Man Jailed for Failing to Pay Child Support

As described in this video from the Southern Center for Human Rights, Mr. Frank Hatley was jailed for failure to pay child support.  

See below for more details. 

What's unusual about this case?  Mr. Hatley had no children.   

I believe many of these these cases of injustice can be addressed with Spiritual Response Therapy (SRT), which I talk about in Success Strategies for Black People. 

I am passionate about this.  See also:   We Need to Talk about an Injustice. 

Many people are being incarcerated, often indefinitely, in the State of Georgia for inability to pay child support.  This is in an area in which which has 24% of the population lives below the poverty line. 

One-third of those in the Cook County Jail are there because of inability to pay child support.   Of course, a high proportion of them are African Americans.  When they do manage to find some money, their payments go to the State, not to their children. 

This is just one of the many ways in which poverty leads to injustice.  Many of those jailed were not provided with legal representation.  And while they are in jail, they are not allowed to see their children.

Click here to read more. 

What Can We Learn from Tiger Mothers?

I saw a documentary on the BBC last night about "tiger mothers", Chinese women who push their children to succeed.

I have strongly objected to a lot that I have read about "tiger mothers". They are portrayed as being very harsh with their children, not allowing the children to play or to have lives of their own.

However, I felt some sympathy with the mothers in the documentary.

Many people in the West lack discipline. I have found this when teaching personal courses for adults in London. I would tell my students, "Do this exercise every day for one week". They would come back a week later and say, "I did it for three days".

This is not just about Black people - I saw this a lot with my white students.

I was fired from one job, teaching ex-offenders, because my boss disagreed that when a student struggled with something, I said they should do it again. Keep at it until you learn how to do it. He said, let them do something else that's easier. This was teaching them to give up - something "tiger mothers" do not do.

It is important to learn the value of persistence. When you achieve something that was difficult, this greatly increases your sense of self-worth.

One of the parents in the film said that she expected her children to do well. It never entered her mind that they wouldn't. My father was very much the same. He would say, "There is nothing the school can throw at you that you can't handle".

I had experiences of my parents, particularly my mother, not caring about my feelings and my needs, not caring about my dreams and ambitions, and forcing hers on me. That is wrong, it's very undermining. We need to be living out our own dreams, not our parents'.

Also, you don't have to be a doctor, dentist or accountant to do well financially. People do well in all walks of life. There are artists and musicians who are multi-millionaires - just look at Sir Elton John as one example.

Although Elton John had phenomenal success at an early age, he also experienced conflicts with his father, who never went to see him perform. Elton had huge self-esteem issues which created major problems for him. Click here to read more.

One of my serious concerns about the "tiger mothers" is that they are pressuring their children to perform academically at the expense of other areas, which I fear creates an imbalance.

Still, Black parents can learn some things from the "tiger mothers". We need to learn to have that confidence that our children can do well, academically and in every area. Then life can't throw anything at them that they can't handle.

Learning Black History Is Fun

Click here to take my online Black history quizzes. Great fun for your children and for all the family.

See also:

Black Facts

More Free Online Fun

How to Research Black History.

This blog contains hundreds of Black history resources. If you type “Black history” into the search box, you can access them.

Please leave your comments below. Thanks.

One Isley Brother's Daughter

Every day, we are hit with new revelations about the News International phone hacking scandal. It's even being discussed in Parliament.

On What U Need to Know on Saturday, we interviewed Elizabeth Isley Barkley, author of One Isley Brother's Daughter

One of her nmain themes is the effect of celebrity on personal life - not just on that of the person in the public eye, but that of his or her family as well.

She argues that things are even worse now than they were when the Isley Brothers were at the height of their popularity in the 1970s.

To listen to the interview, click here for What U Need to Know, or click here to hear it on Success Strategies for Black People on Facebook.

Homeless Mom Arrested for Sending Son to Better School

A homeless woman has been charged with first-degree larceny for sending her child to a better school. The authorities claim she lied about her address in order to get him into the school.

For many people, education is seen as the passport to a better future. This mother is doing what she can to get her son the best possible start in life - and she's been arrested for it. I would argue it would have been a crime if she HADN'T done this.

She used her friend's address and the friend has now been evicted from public housing as a result.

This is so outrageous. She faces the prospect of 20 years in prison. Because there are not enough Black people in prison already, right?

Click here to read the story.

See also: Are Black Parents to Blame for Their Children's Educational Under-Achievment?

Kwanzaa Videos

This article on Kwanzaa - Celebrating Traditional African Values has some lovely videos with children explaining the meaning of Kwanzaa.

See also: The Spiritual Dimension of Kwanza.

Click here for a listing of Kwanzaa events 2010. I have listed Kwanzaas all over the UK as well as U.S. Kwanzaas.

Happy Kwanzaa!

Ancient Egypt Jigsaw Puzzle

I have just seen this great free online resource: Ancient Egypt Jigsaw Puzzles. There are several jigsaw puzzles on that page. There's also a puzzle of Great Zimbabwe.

See also: Free Stuff for Black Parents and Children

The Influence of Ancient Egypt

Loads of Free Stuff for Black Parents and Children

The Black Holiday Gifts Guide has loads of free resources for Black parents, children and families.

Online Fun for You and Your Children

We have lots of free online fun for your children, including free resources they can download and print out.

Print out and color a Kinara.

There's an online Black history quiz.

And lots more free resources.

click here to download the free Black Holiday Gifts Guide 2010 now.

African American Gifts

Plus, we have lots of children's gifts you can buy. We have gifts for all the family - toys, coloring books, Black history board games and more.

Our coloring books include:

African American Leaders Activity and Coloring Book
Famous Black Women
African Designs Coloring Book

and more.

Check it out: click here to download the free Black Holiday Gifts Guide 2010 now.

See also: A Christian Book for Teenage Girls.

Black Men, Women, Relationships

This month in Essence, there is an article called “Where Is the Love” about relationships between Black men and women.

Hill Harper, author of Letters to a Young Brother and Letters to a Young Sister, has just brought out a new book entitled The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships.

One point he makes is that single-sex conversations will not bring about progress – in other words, men and women need to talk to each other.

I would argue that single-sex conversations are important, and may feel like a safer place to start. But in the end, we are a complete race and brothas and sistas need to connect and communicate with each other.

I would argue further that it’s not just a matter of talking – it’s also about how we talk and listen to each other. When there are forums for men and women, there tends to be a lot of judging and blaming, a lot of accusations. We need to learn a new language for communication – the language of Nonviolent Communication.

We have learned toxic ways of relating to each other and we are paying the price with broken relationships.

Did you know that:

Only 38% of Black children live in two-parent homes.

In 1966, more than 84% of all African American children were raised in two-parent households. By 2006, that number was at just 31%, compared to

• 80% of Asian American children and
• 70% of white American children?

The article lays the blame for problems between Black men and women firmly at the feet of internalised racism, i.e. self-hatred. I couldn’t agree more.

For more about this, see The Key to Confidence.

Hill also argues that many Black women are looking for a man who is financially well-off. I’ve heard this so many times before. I think this is probably because many of us yearn for material security. But we need to learn to provide this security for ourselves, while still being open to a loving relationship.

Hill adds that most of us would not have dated Barack Obama.

I say: If we define a potential partner by his paycheck or bank balance, rather than the qualities he is bringing to the relationship, we are selling ourselves short.

This is about core values. Are you looking for someone with whom you feel secure, with whom you can share yourself and express yourself freely and openly?

Hill finishes by talking about authenticity. If you feel like you have to put on an act when you are with men, how are you going to be happy in a relationship?

My work is about solutions – building happy, healthy relationships, families and communities. Check out my communications course October 10th-11th.

See also: This article about empathy.

No to Pre-Trial Electrocutions

Congratulations to my fellow AfroSpear members for organising another Day of Blogging for Justice to raise awareness about the use of tasers against Black men, women and children.

Click here to read my post on the previous Day of Blogging for Justice against tasing.

It is a travesty that another such event is needed. Tasing is also being referred to as "pre-trial electrocution" and rightly so.

Here are some more of today's blogs:

TNT Truth Not Tasers

AfroSpear Blog

Here in London, attacks by the police are much in the news at the moment, following the demonstrations around the G20 a couple of weeks ago. Three people have been named as victims of police attacks, one of whom, Ian Tomlinson, is now dead. Films of the incident suggest that Tomlinson was minding his own business, watching the demo from the sidelines, when attacked from behind by a police officer. He collapsed, and died shortly thereafter.

It has been decided that a third inquest into Tomlinson's death will be carried out, as the findings of the first two contradicted each other.

The day after Tomlinson's death, a woman protester was struck by a police officer.

I note that (1) both of these protesters were white, (2) both incidents were filmed. In the case of the attack on Tomlinson, several different cameras in different positions recorded the incident.

And (3) none of the alleged attacks involved the use of tasers. In other words, London's Metropolitan Police are capable of doing plenty of damage without deploying tasers. Tasers are rarely used in the UK at present, but once their use becomes widespread, the situation will only worsen.

Given the current state of the economy, with an increase in employment being forecast, many are predicting an increase in civil unrest. So lots more opportunities for the police to use heavy-handed tactics.

I will be blogging more about this soon, but I wanted to post this today in support of the Day of Justice.

Black people have been saying for many years that the policing of our communities is often brutal and violent. When Black people die in police custody, no one is ever prosecuted or deemed to have acted unlawfully or inappropriately.

As I said recently in Police Officers Accused of 60 Other Assaults, African young people and adults need to be carrying cameras and/or camera phones at all times in order to record these incidents. However, I add that, once a brotha or sista is inside a police cell, he or she has no opportunity to use a camera, and no guarantee that the cameras in place are in working order or contain film. Again, I will blog more about this soon.

Again, all credit to the sistas and brothas of the AfroSpear for keeping the issue of tasing in the forefront of our minds.