Why Can't Successful Black Women Find Good Black Men? (Part 3)

Click here for Part 1.

Click here for Part 2.

Des has some excellent videos on his website, featuring Hill Harper.

We know Hill Harper as an actor from CSI New York. He is also the author of several books, including The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships.

To read more, see Black Men, Women, Relationships

One point Hill makes is that Black men talk to each other, Black women talk to each other, but the sistas and the brothas are not communicating with each other. Des and the panellists at his event made the same point.

Des's work is all about building lasting relationships. His work is not for those who are just grazing, cruising or looking for short-term romance. If you are serious about building a lasting relationship with a partner, click here to check out his site.

Des will be holding a singles event in which you are guaranteed to meet at least 50 Black men and chat to all of them in the course of the evening. Click here for info and to book.

Click here for the Success Strategies fan page.

To find out about future events for the Black community, click here to join Nurture Success.

African Nations Have Not Used the World Cup to Brand Themselves

I saw this article today. Why are wooden figures being made in Indonesia for export to South Africa?

Click here to read more.

Click here for my list of Black museums (a work in progress).

Click here for my article on how to build a strong black business community.

Why Can't Successful Black Women Find Good Black Men? (Part 2)

Whenever we start to move towards our goals, whenever we start to move forward in a positive direction, we become more aware of what is getting in the way. As I say in Success Strategies for Black People, "Love always brings up its opposite for healing".

That is one reason why people don't come to this type of event. They allow their fears to get in the way.

If their friends and family members are saying, "What are you doing that for?", it just means those people's fears are being triggered.

If you think your fears, doubts and worries are getting in your way, come to my Relaxation Workshop in London on Saturday. I'll show you how to overcome them.

The Why Can't Successful Black Women Find Good Black Men? event was very stimulating. Click here to read more.

I disagreed with one of the brothas on the panel. He kept saying, "You are all competing for the same men.

"There are so many men who are married, so many are in prison, so many are dating exclusively outside the race. You are all competing for the ones that are left."

That is scarcity thinking. Scarcity thinking creates scarcity. Abundance thinking attracts abundance.

Click here to read about Changing Scarcity to Abundance.

One sista in the audience said, "I met my partner EIGHT HOURS after I finished with the previous one, and we are on our way to getting married".

She also said, "If you can't find a man here, travel. There's a whole world out there". Excellent advice, in my opinion.

If you want to learn about how to attract what you want, wherever you are, come to my Relaxation Workshop this Saturday.

Des is going to be holding a singles event where you are guaranteed to meet and talk to 50 Black men at the after-party. Click here for more info and to book.

Click here for the Success Strategies fan page.

To find out about future events for the Black community, click here to join Nurture Success.

Here's to your success!

Why Can't Successful Black Women Find Good Black Men?

I went to a great event on Saturday night called Why Can’t Successful Black Women Find Good Black Men?

I don’t agree with the basic premise. We can attract the partners we want, we just need to find the strategies to do so. More about this below.

It was a very lively event. There was a panel of four – two brothas and two sistas – who expressed their views on a range of topics, such as

- the reasons why people don’t come to these events
- self-development and empowerment
- are Black women too independent?
- are Black men intimidated by women who ear more than they do?

And lots more.

The people on the panel and in the audience were being very real. I was pleasantly surprised, as I have heard about similar events being held in the ‘90s in which the sistas were very angry (with good reason) and basically slagged off the brothas. Everyone had intelligent points to make, although I didn’t agree with everything that was said.

I highly recommend these events. Click here to find out more.

Strategies

Des O’Connor (no, not that Des O’Connor), who presented the event, was highly skilled. He suggested several strategies for meeting the kind of man you want to meet.

For example, during the World Cup, go to a sports bar when one of the African teams is playing. There will be plenty of men there.

I think that’s a brilliant strategy. Having said that, I can teach you ladies how to attract a man wherever you are. And I can teach you fellas how to attract a woman. If you want a same-sex partner, I can help with that, too.

To find out how to do this, come to my Relaxation Workshop in London on Saturday. Click here for details.

Relaxation is a big part of attraction. Our emotions influence our ability to attract what we want. This is Law of Attraction stuff.

I will be blogging more about last Saturday’s event. Des will be holding a singles event in which you are guaranteed to meet at least 50 Black men and chat to all of them in the course of the evening. Click here for info and to book.

Click here for the Success Strategies fan page.

To find out about future events for the Black community, click here to join Nurture Success.

The Best, Most Highly Effective Strategies for Black People (2)

In Part 1, I blogged about why Black people are not achieving our full potential, and the need to understand the problem. This is the first step towards finding a solution. Know your history, and learn the lessons of history.

Click here to read that blog.

Strategy 3 – Move from the Negative to the Positive

Success is a matter of moving from the negative to the positive.

The three stages of manifestation are:

• clearing out the negative;
• attracting the positive; and
• opening to the universe.

To read more about this, read What They Don’t Want Us to Know. You can download a free chapter on Achieving Success here.

Want to learn more about the three stages of manifestation? Come to my Relaxation Workshop in London on Saturday 26th June.

What do you think of this blog? Please leave a comment on the Success Strategies fan page.

Click here for the Success Strategies fan page.

Stay tuned for Part 3.

Juneteenth Celebration

We were joined on the first edition of the What U Need to Know Radio Show by members of the African Cultural Arts Council of the Bowers Museum, who gave us lots of fascinating information about Juneteenth. Click here to listen.

Sorry about the technical difficulties. There is lots of great stuff on the show, so be patient.

Their Juneteenth celebration will be tomorrow, Saturday 19th June 2010. See below for details.

Juneteenth, also known as Freedom Day or Emancipation Day, is a holiday honouring African-American heritage, culture, and history. The festivities commemorate the announcement of the abolition of slavery in the state of Texas in 1865.

Celebrated on June 19th, the term is an amalgamation of “June” and “nineteenth” and is recognized as a state holiday in 35 states in the U.S.

Join them and meet the Buffalo Soldiers, listen to great music and choir performances, and a special theatrical presentation by A.I.M. (Art in Ministry). Share a day of entertainment, with vendors, a silent auction, raffles, and a kids’ corner!

A.I.M. Productions will be presenting "Bits and Pieces of a Past"

Including a sneak preview of excerpts of a new production called

"Legacy of our Leaders and Legends".

Bowers Museum, 2002 North Main Street, Santa Ana, CA 92706 www.bowers.org

Saturday, June 19th 2010 12-3 p.m.

Norma Kershaw Auditorium, John M. Lee Court

Free admission does not include museum admission.

Sponsored by the African Cultural Arts Council and the Orange County NAACP..

The Best, Most Highly Effective Strategies for Black People

This is Part 1 of a series.

I am going to cover some of the most effective, most powrful strategies we can use as people of African heritage.

(1) Know the power of your mind.

The human mind is incredibly powerful.

Black people have been brainwashed to believe that we don't have power - that all power rests in the hands of the white man, the white woman, the government, other people, etc.

You might think economic power lies in the hands of the banks, the stock market, or even the Bingo and lottery people. To read more about this, see: The Key to Financial Prosperity.

Yet, even when we deny our power, we still have it. You have the power to transform your life.

(2) Honour your history, your heritage and your ancestry.

When Europeans wanted to deny us our power, the first thing they did was to deny our history. Lies were told about our history and achievements. For example, white historians said that Great Zimbabwe must have been built by interplanetary travellers!

Malidoma Some was forced to speak French, forbidden to speak his own language, and never shown a map of his own country (Burkina Faso). He was one of the young people in the seminary being prepared for leadership. When he finally managed to escape, he could not even ask for directions to his home village. To read more, see Of Water and the Spirit.

He makes the point that all African leaders were educated in the same way.

This accounts for a lot of the corruption that is perpetrated by African politicians.

The second half of the book describes how he healed himself of his early experiences by reclaiming his traditions.

When you understand what was done to Black people, and the damage we have suffered, you begin to understand why we are not achieving our full potential.

We are the only ones who can repair the damage, and we have the power toheal ourselfs.

For more about this, see Success Strategies for Black People.

See also: Why We Need to Heal.

Learn the lessons of history. There are many Black history posts on this blog - please read them to learn more.

What do you think of this blog? Please comment below.

Click here for the Success Strategies fan page.

Here's to your success!

Black Man Buys Gatwick Airport

You heard it here first. Nigerian-born Adebayo Ogunlesi is set to buy Gatwick Airport. Now that's what I call Black success!

He wants to work with the airlines to significantly improve passengers' experience of using the airport.

Click here for Black Success Stories.

Click here for More Black Success.

Capitalism, A Love Story

I watched “Capitalism, a Love Story”, the excellent Michael Moore film the other day.

Moore talked about the plight of inner-city areas such as Detroit and Chicago, and how greedy corporations shut down factories, and put hundreds and thousands of people out of work, in order to increase their profits and pay higher salaries to their senior executives.

He contrasted this with a bakery in which every worker had an equal vote in decisions made by the company. Moore termed this “democracy”. Yet, I would argue, this is another form of capitalism, one without corporate greed. It’s still about running a business for a profit – and what’s wrong with that?

In this bakery, workers on the assembly line earn £60,000 a year. I want to work there myself. I could bake some bread.

What Moore does not reveal in the film is whether his own production company operates along similar lines.

To read more about the demise of Detroit, click here for Celebrating the Legend that is Motown.

Republic Windows and Doors

Workers at Republic Windows and Doors in Chicago staged a sit-in. They refused to leave the premises after being laid off.

They had been fired without notice, denied vacation and severance pay, and had their medical benefits cut off. They refused to leave until they were paid what they were owed.

Their spokesperson stated that he realised some bad business decisions had been made but, as he said, “We don’t make business decisions. We make windows and doors”. He reasoned that the Bank of America, which financed the company, had been given bail-out money, so why shouldn’t the bank give some of the money to the workers?

Bishop James Wolkowski, son of a Chicago steel-worker, visited them. He told them that they were teaching people that it is jut to challenge what is unfair. He had seen at first hand what happened when the steel works closed down, and the effect this had had on local families and communities.


Click here to read about President Obama’s support for the strikers.

After six days, the bank and the company agreed to all of the workers’ demands.

Moore’s grandstanding is always entertaining to watch. In this film, he makes several attempts to arrest senior executives at investment banks for their corporate crimes. Failing at this, he surrounds the buildings with police crime- scene tape.

One shocking element the film reveals is the practice of taking out “dead peasants’ insurance”, whereby corporations become beneficiaries of their workers’ life insurance policies. In other words, the company profits from the deaths of its workers.

The Effects on Our Families (2)

It is quite striking to note the amount of resources, in terms of time, money and energy,that the South African apartheid regime put into breaking up Black families. To read more about this, and about two films made in secret during apartheid, see: ANC Welcomes Ruling

Winnie Mandela’s story illustrates how apartheid impacted on women in South Africa.

To read more, see: Nelson Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom

See also: The Effects on Our Families.

You Couldn't Even Try on Shoes

I've heard about this from my parents. When they were young, in the 1920s and '30s, and perhaps even later, Black people were not allowed to try on shoes. They had to buy them. You could not go into a shop and try on a hat - you had to buy it.

To read more about this, see "Dr. Ambedkar, Visionary".

See also: "Black Facts" in Black History International.

This is similar to what Winnie Mandela described as her experience under apartheid in South Africa.

But recently, I have read that a customer would trace his or her feet on a brown paper bag, then bring the drawing to the store to indicate what size of shoes they wanted.

The Effects on Our Families

We often try to deny the effects of what was done to us by slavery and the racist brutality we have suffered.

We say, "I'm okay, I'm all right, we're all right". In other words, we front. This is also known as denial.

This is why I wrote the article "Why We Need to Heal".

When we look at what our ancestors experienced, it is inevitable that this is still having an effect on us, our relationships, our families and our communities.

Sometimes the wounds are so deep, and the pain is so deeply buried, that we don't even realize we are still carrying it. It is unconscious. But it is still there, and it is still having an effect on our lives, our families and our communities.

When we begin to acknowledge this, we can begin to heal it.

For more about how we can begin to heal our relationships, see
How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships, and

Success Strategies for Black People.

The Truth about Article Writing

This blog has moved to my Writers' Secrets blog.

New Radio Show - History, Heritage and Healing - What U Need to KNow

Please join us for my new radio show, What U Need to Know, which I am co-presenting with Joan E. Gosier, author of Cotton Pickin' Paycheck.

This show focuses on history, heritage and healing for people of African heritage.

The first show is tomorrow, Saturday 5th June at 2 p.m. EDT, 7 p.m. UK time.

We will be discussing Juneteenth. This is the first of three shows looking at independence, freedom and liberation.

What is Juneteenth about, and what is the significance of this celebration? Do you celebrate Juneteenth? Please feel free to phone in at (001) (347) 637-1099 or join us in the chatroom to add your questions and comments.

We will be joined by guests from the African Cultural Arts Council of the Bowers Museum of Cultural Art in Orange County, CA.

I hope you will join us. Click here to listen.

If you miss the live broadcast, you can listen to the recording here:

What U Need to Know.